Last weekend we rented a double seated kayak and paddled across Baynes Sound to a little island which locals call Tree Island. It is a magical place. An eagle was watching from its nest in an old fir when we pulled our kayak ashore. The sandy beaches are beckoning for a stroll along the tide line. I marveled at all the different shells of whelks and clams. Especially the many sand dollars with their curious markings resembling a five lobed leaf caught my attention. I wondered about its meaning. One day I will spend time with it and find out.
A large shell of a moon snail lay amongst the driftwood, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and saw that its tip was broken off leaving a gaping opening. At first I was sad. I would like to find such a beautiful white moon snail shell that was intact. Then I noticed that the break offered access into the inside of the shell otherwise hidden. How elegantly the inner space was formed in spirals. With my finger I explored the winding circles. The inner surface felt smooth like porcelain. It was so polished that it even reflected the light. The break allowed me to look into the inner world of the shell and to see its beauty. How did the break happen? Maybe a wave had smashed the shell against a rock.
This is not unlike us humans, I thought. Sometimes we are smashed against circumstances of our life that seem to destroy us. Sometimes we are wounded by some deep grief or loss. Our shell might have also been broken. Our heart might have been broken open. Like in the broken shell of the moon snail, the real beauty inside is often only visible once the surface had been smashed, once our armour has been broken. We feel raw, wounded, exposed. Painfully we realize our vulnerability.
In my mind I reflect back to a time when decades ago my world broke apart, everything that I believed in crumbled, nothing seemed to make sense anymore. For many years I went to counselling, did all kind of therapies and healing work in order to “get over it”, in order to heal this wound. I owe it to homeopathy that today I can think of and talk of this turning point in my life with a smile and with gratitude. I can see that my life unfolded in a beauty that seems hardly possible without this fateful event.
A spirit guide once had taught me to honour my vulnerability, not to hide it. “You often associate vulnerability with weakness. This is incorrect. Vulnerability is the greatest virtue of this planet because everything that has worth and value is vulnerable.” This wisdom is with me every day, a trustworthy companion in my work.
Have you been broken open? Life’s gifts are often not wrapped in Christmas paper and decorated with a golden bow. They come as terrible losses, painful woundings and sometimes as betrayal. However, they can provide a path to discover your own beauty that might never shine forth otherwise. This transformation is possible, even more – it is your right. It is also your right to ask for help. Send me an email if you would like support or phone me at 250 650 1662. Believe me – healing is possible, for you also.